There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
