Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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