Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My first STD was from a foam party
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
