Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
