you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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