please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was not drunk enough for that final.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
