Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
