I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
