just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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