Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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