I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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