when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
