And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
