hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
