but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
