he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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