Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize