took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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