Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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