hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why do cheetos always look like penises
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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