I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
