had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize