Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
