Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
