Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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