i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize