drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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