he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
