I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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