dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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