Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Come on in and take your pants off
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