we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
