in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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