do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize