Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
