C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
