the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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