Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
