did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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