After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
