You can't motorboat a personality
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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