I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize