its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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