Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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