just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
