so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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