i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
