Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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