Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
soo... how was my night?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
