Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
