and you said cock pushups were impossible
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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