it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
