hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
