I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize