I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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