____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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