I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
