I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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