During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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