Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize