Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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